A podcast dedicated to helping modern-day believers live out the teachings of the first century church. This podcast is part of the teaching ministry of Dr. David K. Bernard, the general superintendent of the United Pentecostal Church International.
How Should Christian Parents Approach Sex Education?
•David K. Bernard•Season 3•Episode 119
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Apostolics and other conservative Christians frequently object to public school sex education programs, often because the messages communicated in these classes contradict biblical morality. How should Christian parents address the subjects of sex and human sexuality with their children? Dr. David K. Bernard shares his perspectives as a parent and pastor on this important question.
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SPEAKER_01
Sex education has become a hot button issue for Christian conservatives. Christian parents frequently object to public school sex ed programs that contradict biblical teaching. Keep listening to hear Dr. David K. Bernard share his perspective as a parent and a pastor on how Christians can train their children to pursue sexual purity in a culture that scorns biblical values. Welcome to Apostolic Life in the 21st Century, a podcast dedicated to helping modern-day believers live out the teachings of the first century church. This podcast is part of the teaching ministry of Dr. David K. Bernard. Dr. Bernard has dedicated his life to studying the Bible and helping believers apply its message to their daily lives. In Apostolic Life in the 21st century, Dr. Bernard answers your questions about what the Bible teaches and how those teachings apply to everyday life. Thank you for joining us for this episode. If you enjoy this podcast, we encourage you to check out Dr. David K. Bernard's books. Dr. Bernard has written more than 30 books on biblical theology and Christian living and leadership. Visit Pentecostal Publishing.com and search David Bernard for a list of available titles. Enter promo code DKB10 at checkout to save 10% on your order. That's Pentecostalpublishing.com, promo code DKB10 to save 10% at checkout. A concerned parent wrote to you asking for your thoughts on a biblical approach to sex education. This person noted that apostolics and other conservative Christians frequently object to public school sex education programs, often because the messages communicated in those programs contradict biblical morality. The other concern, of course, is that young children are not mature enough to fully understand the ramifications of the subject. You have experience both as a pastor and a parent. So what advice do you have based on that experience for apostolic parents who want to discuss the subject of sex with their children, but do so to do so in a biblical manner? How old do you feel like a child needs to be before that you can address that subject with them? And what approach do you recommend?
SPEAKER_00
This is certainly a very important but yet sometimes challenging topic. I do think we have to talk about it today. And I think it's number one, the parents' responsibility. And I would certainly say that parents should have the appropriate discussion, usually the mother with the daughter and the father with the son before puberty. But I think you have to consider the maturity of the child, you have to consider the influences of the child, the family, the extended family, the school, the neighborhood. And it should be age appropriate, but I think we have to start early with at least some concepts, because as much as we try to protect and insulate our kids, they're going to hear lots of things from secular society, from friends, from unsafe family members, or even perhaps some who are in church who have different perspectives or different understandings. No matter how much we try to guard the media, internet, television, you know, they're going to be exposed probably more than we think and behind our back. And so I do believe that we probably have to start earlier than we might have considered years ago. But it still needs to be age appropriate and it needs to be not in generally speaking, even when the church needs to conduct it, the more detailed discussion we should separate the boys and the girls. Or parents, it should be individual and it should be age appropriate and sex appropriate. And it depends on the maturity of the child, the background of the child. There's so many factors. I think you have to leave it to the parents to make the appropriate decision. I do believe the church has a role, but there should be a partnership between the pastor and the parents so they both know what's going on. And there needs to be some conversations in children's ministry and youth ministry and pastoral team and parents. I do believe the church has a role to teach on this subject, to support the parents and to supplement, because again, not all kids come from strong Christian homes. So somehow, sometimes the church may be the primary uh voice. And so certainly with uh the teens, the youth group, uh there should be some plan from the church standpoint. One that I uh that we use, it's UPCI is called Worth the Wait. It's a classic program that's been updated the last few years. It's sold by Pentecostalpublishing.com, authored by Tyler Whaley and Ken Gurley. So Worth the Wait, I think is certainly a curriculum that every youth group should consider. Um and then from a more apologetic nature, which would be more suitable for teens and young adults, my book, Anchor Points, has a chapter on biblical sexuality. And what I try to do there, of course, I do talk about the biblical teaching, but I try to explain how that is best suited for human nature and human society using a lot of secular and other Christian uh resources to show that things such as fornication, adultery, um uh divorce, um, homosexual behavior, transgender transgenderism are contrary to God's design, but also contrary to human nature, human biology, and are destructive to human society. So it's God's plan is actually the best plan for us. And that might be very helpful to young adults who are bombarded by secular teaching. Also, for the biblical discussion in a frank uh way of what's right, right, and what's wrong, uh, my book, uh, In Search of Holiness, goes through the scriptural teaching step by step and tries to explain in a candid but Christian way. In contrast to secular sexual education, I don't think we have to go into graphic detail. Some things can be handled individually by parents, some things can be handled by a medical doctor as needed, some things can be handled in book form, a Christian book that does talk about the marriage relationship. Um years ago, there was a book by Tim and Beverly Lahaye specifically for newlyweds called The Act of Marriage. So some things don't have to be taught uh orally, but can be handled in an appropriate Christian but yet frank publication for engaged or young married people when it's appropriate for them to discuss. So all those things have to be judgment calls. I would be highly cautious, especially today, of sex education in a secular setting, such as a public school. I would carefully monitor, investigate, depending on the community, depending on the school, but even so, uh, we're getting to the point where you can't trust any secular source. And so maybe you either have a relationship with a teacher that you know what the curriculum is, you know how the teacher will approach the curriculum, and you feel like it will at least be consistent with Christian values or not attacking Christian values. If you don't have that confidence, then you should consider opting out and providing Christian alternatives. I do believe that we do have to we have to teach our children, because if we don't, if the church doesn't speak and the family doesn't speak, we're leaving secular voices and they will speak and they will be heard. So somehow we have to make sure the biblical and moral message uh comes across clearly to our children and our youth. And of course, all this must be mixed with prayer. And I think we also have to have an understanding in our secular society uh it maximizes uh physical pleasure and it often emphasizes technique. You have to know this detail and that detail and this and that and all these choices and options. But God has created the marriage relationship to be sacred and private. There's some things that should only be discussed between husband and wife. There are times when you need medical treatment, medical advice, or professional counseling advice. But most of the time, you know, if you're committed to a lifelong relationship, you don't have to get everything perfect all the time or all at once, but you have a lifetime to learn, a lifetime to explore. And the the marriage relationship is unique between two complex human beings. No two human beings are alike. And so just trying to learn techniques or learn information, uh, or much less having experiences, that's actually detrimental because it's not like something, just some technique that you learn and practice to perfection. But two human beings are learning how to become one. And that is not only physical, but that's emotional, that's spiritual. As I said, no two people are alike. And so you're exploring and learning about the other person, and that takes a lifetime to learn. So it's unlike anything you ever learn. You have plenty of time, it's unique, it's sacred, it's personal to you. And so the best education is to wait. I mean, I think you need some basic education to help you prepare for marriage and to help you understand biblical values as a contrast to worldly values. But when you get into a lot of the specifics, the details, and the intimate aspects, you will learn as you grow together in your marriage. So I think maybe you can give relief to young people who are contemplating marriage. You don't have to know everything, you don't have to learn everything, you don't have to keep up with your peers, you don't have to go online and learn and watch all kinds of explicit things. That's what you do as a young married couple together, just you, sake your relationship in the sight of God.
SPEAKER_01
Thank you for listening to this episode of Apostolic Life in the Twenty First Century. If you enjoy this podcast, please take a moment to give us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app. We also appreciate it when you share apostolic life in the 21st century with a friend or family member. And make plans to join us again next time as we look at how the Bible applies to everyday life.
